Chapter 13:

Dan's migraine was making it hard to see and it was taking forever to get back to the ranch. It was like coming home from a dog show after they hadn’t won anything. Only this time, he was making the trip alone. He cried continuously until there were no more tears. He thought that if he just waited long enough, it would turn out to be just another disastrous nightmare. But, no, this trip was all too real. He wondered if it would be best to just end it all some way. He recalled the therapy sessions he went through when Ronnie had died the first time. There would be sadness, anger, helplessness, hate, depression, guilt and loneliness just to name a few.

As Dan was contemplating the most horrible of actions he might take, he thought he could almost smell her perfume. Design. It was her favorite. He always bought it for her on special occasions. There went that incessant imagination of his again. He wanted her back so bad that he was able to smell her now. He cracked the window slightly in order to bring in the fresh air. But, in spite of that the fragrance only grew stronger.

From somewhere down deep came that eerie feeling again. It was the same feeling Dan had had when he first saw her lying in the waves as they gently lapped her bare skin. He knew he should stop this wild daydreaming but he didn’t think he could even if he wanted to. Maybe all he would be left with would be these strongest of memories. Hell, these were more than just memories. This memory came fully equipped with an odor.
And then Dan's mind took another step toward the edge of reason as he thought he heard a voice soft and faint come out of the cold air that was inhabiting the vehicle. Great! Now he was hallucinating. Did that mean he would have crazy unbelievable vivid nightmares again as well. How was he going to live with these overly realistic thoughts, or dreams, or ....
But, wait... there it was again. He couldn’t make out what the voice was saying but it sounded like Ronnie.

Dan kept his gaze forward and gripped the controls even tighter this time. “This can’t be happening.” he whispered. “Yes, it can.” came a similar whispered reply. His mind was swirling as if it was filled with nothing but water. Dare he peek over to the passenger side of the van? He tried not to, but his head involuntarily snapped to the right and then back again. Nothing there. The seat was empty! Was he in the middle of the most insane dream yet? It was time for him to ask the obvious question. “Babe, is that you?” he inquired hopefully. “Yes. It’s me, Ronnie. I’m here.”

Dan was so excited that it didn’t quite sink in right away. And then it hit him! She knew her name! She had actually called herself Ronnie. Something was different. Something had changed. Even though he hadn’t seen her yet he felt she was more real than ever before.

The sky was beginning to clear and now there were just a few silvery-white clouds remaining. In spite of his state of mind he saw that this was the clearest the sky had been in months. He was actually afraid to say anything further.

Only seconds had passed and then Dan felt Ronnie's hand alight ever so easily upon his right thigh. She was there! Wasn’t she? Things were going well so far so he decided to keep his eyes forward. He wasn’t superstitious but, he dare not break this spell. Slowly he let his right hand drift down on top of hers. He could feel her cool hand under his. And as he gripped it a little firmer it began to warm with the touch of his palm.

Dan continued to keep his attention on the road ahead as they approached Hollister. He turned his vision up to the sky and saw only blue, there were no clouds now. At the same time he could actually sense her full presence. Without even looking at her he knew she was there, as whole and complete as before. He exhaled a trembling long awaited sigh of relief. And as he did so, the final clue was starting to illuminate his thoughts. He had finally put it all together. It was ..... the rain!

That was the missing part to this whole montage collage of dreams and reality. Maybe it was more than just the rain. Possibly it was water itself, especially rain water. Dan had pulled her from the water so maybe there was a connection. It seemed she would be forever linked to the weather somehow.

It was all making sense now. Had Ronnie wandered into the creek during or just after the rain? That would explain why she had vanished. When the dogs were barking they must have known that she was still there even though she was not visible. The T-shirt must have been torn off and left hanging on that branch. It was actually a clue that she would return. And, when they were on the road to town that day and Dan had seen rain coming down off in the distance. That was when she became almost invisible. She was getting to close to the rain. Even his dreams involved water with regard to her existence or lack thereof. When he had the dream where he was floating in the water and Ronnie’s hand reached out for him, that was another clue. That was the first strange thing that kept him trying to guess what it meant.

“Are we going back home?” Ronnie finally asked. “Yes, I think it best for now. Don’t you?” Dan stated. “Yes, I do. I’m a little weak and would like to lay down. But, I know who I am now.” she said convincingly. “I remember everything. But I can’t explain how I was able to come back to you.” she added. “Maybe in time I will understand it all.” she finished. “I wouldn’t count on that too much. I’m not even sure if it matters. For now let’s just take it one moment at a time.” he said bluntly. “We’ll deal with the strange and unusual as they come up. I think we’ll be able to handle it.” he guessed.

This set Ronnie's mind at ease and she pulled down the visor mirror with her right hand to reassure herself that she was back in one piece again. At that same instant Dan looked at her and smiled. She returned his smile. He looked up to the sky and breathed a small prayer and simply said “Thank you.”

Their hands remained clasped all the way back to Paicines. Throughout the trip very little words were spoken. They just enjoyed being together again even if there might be times when they couldn’t be. Ronnie leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and said “I love you so much Dan. I just couldn’t leave you.” “I love you too .... Ronnie.” he said passionately. He had waited a long time to say that using her name.

This was going to be a new and different world in which they existed. The next time it rained they would not be afraid. Sure, they would hold each other just as tightly as before, but there would be that knowledge that in time they would always come back to each other. Neither one of them could predict what would happen once they finally visited their parents. But that didn’t seem to matter anymore. For now they knew they would both always have the faith they needed to believe in miracles and deal with the impossible.
As they got into bed that night Dan knew it was a paradox having her alive and yet dead at the same time. But then maybe life was a paradox too. After all, how many times have you said to yourself 'You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t.'? And there are unlimited possibilities for beings elsewhere in our universe and yet we have never come in contact with any of them. So much of life is neither one thing or the other... its both things at the same time. (Quote from David Hyde Pierce)

And with that Dan rolled over kissed his 'Mermaid' deeply and passionately on the mouth. Ronnie returned his passion with a vengeance. He thought, now this is what love is all about. “I wonder how often it rains in Arizona?” he asked softly. She giggled and reached out and pinched him. She had always done that before when they were playing around, but this time the pain was pure ecstasy. And since a pin prick that drew blood didn't awaken him from any dream, he doubted a little pinch would do any damage. He prayed with all his heart that this one moment with Ronnie would last forever.